Autism in Heels by Jennifer O'Toole

Tags:     Autistic people

             Autism spectrum disorders

            Autism is definitely a hot topic in Ontario news right now. I don't think I really had a true grasp of how difficult it is for children and their caregivers to receive a diagnosis, support and treatment, let alone how much it all costs.

            While browsing the "New This Week" section of our website, I came across a memoir entitled Autism in Heels: the untold story of a female life on the spectrum by Jennifer Cook O'Toole. O'Toole is the bestselling author of the Asperkids series of books, a motivational speaker along the likes of Tony Attwood, and is described as "one of autism's most prominent figures." O'Toole certainly knows her stuff: not only are her husband and all 3 children on the spectrum, but she herself was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when she was 35 years old. She says that was when her "real life began."

            I learned a lot from this book. I learned that in the not-so-distant past, Autism assessment screening tools were often gender-biased towards males. Girls often had to present more obvious characteristics to even be noticed, and experts believed autistic girls had "more severe symptoms and more significant intellectual disabilities." I also learned that girls with autism are more prone to eating disorders, inflicting self-harm, and to be victims of abuse.  Another thing I learned was that people with autism can feel overwhelming compassion and empathy for others, to the point that it literally hurts them to see someone or something else hurting. I encourage you to explore the many other things I learned for yourself by reading the book.

            I have to say, however, that I found this book difficult to read. O'Toole suffered through a lot of bullying and mental, physical, and sexual abuse in her life before her diagnosis. There are even content warnings for a couple of chapters later in the book. These can be difficult topics to read about anyway, but to discover the author thought her mistreatment was deserved or her fault? Heartbreaking. It is also hard to read about how hard she has tried her whole life to make friends and feel accepted. O'Toole has a huge list of accomplishments, but, at times, I felt as though she was still seeking this acceptance and acknowledgement from me as a reader. O'Toole confesses to having a "jumpy thinking style." I often found her writing style to be repetitive or fragmented. I could not read more than a few pages at a time before stopping for a while, but I refused to give up because of all the valuable bits of information I learned. I do not want to discourage you from reading this book, however, as others have stated they could not put it down.